Good morning all. I'm feeling very bluesy this morning metaphysically and emotionally, like an old world immigrant getting into his first argument with an American, and thinking what was that all for? Spirit of rebirth and growth breathed into my face this morning as it made me recall when i had cut my hair. I had cut it in grievance to my elder Bill Tiger losing his left foot to diabetes. When i cut my hair i brutally hacked it. Ugh you should see how many typo's i'm fixing this morning. Later in that day i got a haircut some green hair glue and some new clothes. I felt so new, like a kid almost, so elated with a new watch, so happy that when someone asked the time, he'd give them the exact time and seconds. Ugh....i hate the word elated, i never use it. But that's what kids are.

Yeah i know i don't belong in this here and now, told many times by my grandmother i was born a century too late and my mother a century too early, i feel like an eternal specter.... time to lose my self again.... soon. When i was a teenager i've accepted the fate that the people in your life will not always be there, not in the terminal way, but in the way that you may never see them again, parting ways, either romantically or scholastically. I guess this has a pull on you no matter if the words are intended for those leaving this world and your life, i tend to use the word pull because of the sensation i get when i express how i feel when i'm feeling it, but i'll go through that in the next post.

All you say to your friends, family & co-workers will be the last thing you say, because whether or not they're there when you or they die, the last words you speak will be the last. It's some give and take process. Heh...i just realized another reason why i'm writing this, it's completely subconscious i swear. My friend at work, Jorge.

I don't think i should be worried about what i'll say when i die, i don't see that happening again anytime soon. But i think it's really all about leaving in a good way, although i've left a lot of people in a bad way, either in bed or a hospital bed. But time hopefully has mended those broken bones and broken hearts, i wouldn't try to go back and fix things, this life doesn't come with a handbook but we tend to write one as we grow,  if we don't, there's no further growth. So after shoveling all this stuff up from the past, i feel like i want to shovel dirt over myself and let the day fold over me. I'm guilty...as i've said before, no one's  innocent, no one.

                                     Goodbye Jorge! See You Space Gigolo!

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