I never thought I'd ever come into an experience where i could actually use that phrase.
A violent sea of frustrations and angst, bash against me with no letting up. Yeah I'm gonna have to return to that little green book and absorb my emotions, thoughts, fears, expectations all over again, and i will be imbued with those waves at my own disposal to release my creative juices. I had a real chill day today, and my homemade salsa with my own homegrown tomatoes [big boy & bush goliath] kicked ass. My wife drives me crazy and i fall short of a snappy retort to the crushing force of her smile and the basic humility she serves, so tasty a treat. I cannot win.

I had the sweet and sour reuniting pleasure laced with my self bitterness and humility served from a tangy tongue. My mind's eye explodes with memories from some short years ago, as in a moment break in a day, i piece event by event and scramble them for my own defense. I think it was a double shot of life juice shot in my ass.

Trying not to dwell on the events on what the past has done to me, has me keeping the present in a magic eight ball. Pressing on with the present into the future, i have to keep the bloody blotted bandage on and stop picking at this nagging and annoying scab. [it's just a metaphor, you're no scab] I'm scared.

                                                    Kainan!!

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